Change

Change. It’s scary. It’s unknown. It’s different and new. 
It also means we are evolving and leaning into our true and authentic selves.

Change

What was I afraid of?

SO, as you can see, I actually have naturally curly-wavy hair. Well I do now, but I’ve been resisting it for years. Up until my early 30’s my hair was straight. I mean really, really straight, I didn’t even need a hairdryer or a flat iron. I could take a shower leave for the day with wet hair and it would dry perfectly straight. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?? Well, then I had kids. And BOOM. Curly. Boy did I resist that. NOPE. NO. No thank you.

Once I realized my hair was becoming wavy and curly. I honestly didn’t know what to do. It didn’t feel like me. At the time it didn’t “feel” authentic. I had known nothing else and I was fearful. It’s just hair, but in actuality it had a much larger meaning. It meant I needed to lean into it. All of it. I needed to accept change and evolution, but at the time I was not willing to do so. I was needing to grow in a direction that scared me. I just wasn’t ready.

Why didn’t I want to embrace the waves and the curls? What was I afraid of? How many other things wasn’t I willing to accept?

CHANGE. Plain and simple. As humans we have a tendency to resist it rather than embrace it. Sometimes the biggest transformations come from small, incremental change. They are just baby steps towards a larger goal. Think of how many things change in our lives, from our physical appearance, to our outlook on life, our jobs, our relationships, our health, our political, religious or philosophical opinions. It’s all new and interesting and all just a little bit scary.

Looking back at a year filled with all kinds of change both large and small, I see now how massive my transformation has been. That transformation has afforded me to embrace my authentic self, including the curls, wearing no make-up, my freckles, my faults, my laugh lines, my cellulite, my ADHD, my anxiety, my insomnia, my physical limitations…all of it. Only by accepting these things can I actually begin to do the necessary work to evolve and therefore I have found my voice. 

Now, I’ve put it out there for you to see and hear, speaking aloud on my history and my faults. Sometimes I’m serious and sometimes I’m fun. This leaves the door open to critics, judgement and bullying, of which I’ve gotten plenty. I also knew that if I didn’t open up and speak on it, I was never going to live my full potential. In doing so, I am hoping it speaks to somebody, helps them embrace their faults, embrace themselves and lean in. I’m hoping it speaks to you. Maybe you criticize it, maybe you accept it. 

Either way…this is me. In her truest form. Hi y’all.