What is a Lipstick Tomboy?

What is a Lipstick Tomboy?

“You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club”

At times I have felt like the Breakfast Club. For years I was supposed to be either an athlete, or a brainiac, or a stay at home mom, or a working mom, or a princess, or a girly girl, or an adventurer, or a badass, or a trophy wife, or an entrepreneur, or or or…
Where was the AND? I was always missing the AND. This seems to apply to a vast number of women. We are always expected to be one thing or another, and that mentality tends to pin us against each other at times. We are going to break that expectation.

At some point during my adulthood I started labeling myself in my own simplest term and in my most convenient definition, and for me that was a Lipstick Tomboy. Lipstick Tomboy was a description for me that wasn’t a box, it was an all encompassing term that allowed me to live out loud. It wasn’t one check mark. It wasn’t one version of me. The fact of the matter is I existed in all kinds of worlds and ticked all kinds of boxes. 

In the original TikTok… (which you will find below) I am merely explaining my version and how it applies to my life. You see, there have been many times where I had one foot in one world and one foot in another. When I was on the soccer team growing up, I was too lanky, too feminine, too slight. In college I was in a sorority, but I was too athletic, too dramatic, too girly. When I was a raising my kids as a stay at home mom, I was too put together, too busy, too strong, or too disorganized. So, where was my definition? Then one day it came to me. I belonged in many facets of my life; I was just too insecure to see it and too insecure to embrace it. I was scared of what others might think and what that meant for finding quality friends and true connections.

All of this is to say, that Lipstick Tomboy will mean something different to you. Where I am a sporty and athletic female, you might be an avid hiker or camper, you might hunt, you might be a carpenter or an engineer, you might be military or a doctor. What do all of these things have in common? They are usually defined as a male dominated box. Us women, we can kick ass too, but sometimes we wear heels while we do it. Sometimes we play the game of our lives, but a massage and a mani-pedi the next day does wonders for our physical and mental health. Sometimes, we can dominate the boy world, but still want friendships and connections with them. Sometimes, we can put on a uniform or hit the gym, but also be the nurturing mom that night when a kid scrapes a knee. We can be all these things! By using a term such as Lipstick Tomboy, it just might allow us to find others who relate, others who understand and a community where we feel welcome. It’s not a box, because it doesn’t hold you inside it’s walls. It allows you to break those molds, the glass ceilings and the expectations thrust upon you. It allows you to be true and authentic.

Here’s what I want for myself and what I want for all of us. I want to live out loud. I want to be my true and authentic self. I want to be free of self-ridicule and judgment. I want to live a full and happy life without boundaries. I want to have adventure and fun. I want honesty and transparency. I want friendships and true connections. I want health and confidence. I want all these things. If you can relate, you are in the right place. Let’s just be ourselves, unapologetically.